Hello guys, welcome back to my blog. Today I am going to share some funny dog quotations that I found while going through Reddit threads and old dog tag jokes. If you love dogs like I love my Chihuahua Bubble, these funny dog quotations will feel very relatable to you too.
I think dogs are already the funniest creatures on earth, they don’t even try. So when people write these quotes and jokes about them, it becomes double funny. Some of these I found on Reddit, some are from famous writers, and some are just simple dog tag jokes people put on their pet’s collar. Let’s go through all of them, plus I added some real dog facts at the end, just for fun.
Funny Dog Quotes I Found on Reddit
I spent a good time going through Reddit threads for this post, mainly r/dogs, r/funny, and r/AskReddit. Dog owners on there are honestly very funny people, they come up with the best one-liners about their own dogs. Here is a table of my favorites, with where I found them.
| Funny Dog Quote or Tag | Why It’s Funny |
|---|---|
| “If you can read this, I will lick you” | A dog tag warning that is basically a threat and a promise at the same time, I love this one |
| “You’re a pig in a dog suit” | This is what an owner calls their dog when it eats or rolls around too much, very relatable honestly |
| “I know, your life is SO hard” | Sarcastic line owners say when their dog sighs dramatically while lying comfortably on the bed |
| “Have your people call my people” | A dog tag joke that makes the dog sound like a celebrity with a whole team, I find this hilarious |
| “Oh no, I’m lost!” | A panicked dog tag message some owners use, though on Reddit people wrote a more colorful version of it |
| “Return me for beer” | A dog tag that basically bribes whoever finds the dog, smart move if you ask me |
| “If at first you don’t catch your tail, try, try again” | A funny twist on the old motivational line, but for a dog chasing its own tail |
| “You’re my favorite human, and you’re my favorite human, and you’re my favorite human…” | This one really captures how dogs love literally everyone equally, no jealousy at all |
If you ask me, “have your people call my people” is my personal favorite from this whole list. It makes every dog sound so important, and honestly, they kind of are.
Famous Funny Dog Quotes From Real Authors
Reddit is not the only place with good dog humor, some very famous writers also wrote funny lines about dogs a long time ago. I looked these up and I think they are still funny today, maybe even more then some new jokes.
| Quote | Who Said It |
|---|---|
| “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” | Groucho Marx |
| “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right!'” | Dave Barry |
| “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” | Rita Rudner |
| “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.” | John Steinbeck |
| “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” | Franklin P. Jones |
| “Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? We come back from the store with chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” | Anne Tyler |
Honestly, the Groucho Marx one is the most famous, I have seen it printed on so many mugs and posters. But I personally like the Anne Tyler quote more, because that is exactly what Bubble’s face looks like every time I come back from the grocery store.
Dog Tag Humor Deserves Its Own Mention
I also want to talk a little more about dog tags, because this whole topic of funny dog quotations really got interesting for me once I saw how creative people get with tiny metal tags. A dog tag has very less space, but people still manage to fit a full joke on it. That takes real skill, honestly.
Some owners go for panic mode jokes like “oh no I’m lost,” some go for bribery like “return me for beer,” and some just want their dog to sound powerful, like “have your people call my people.” I think this shows that dog owners don’t just love their dogs, they also want to make strangers smile if the dog ever gets lost. That is a nice thought, if you ask me.
Fun Dog Facts (Because Why Not)
While researching this post, I also found some real dog facts that are more interesting then I expected. I think knowing these makes the funny dog quotes even better, because you understand dogs a bit more. Here is a quick table I made.
| Fun Fact | Detail |
|---|---|
| Sense of smell | Dogs have up to 300 million smell receptors in their nose, compared to only about 5 million in humans |
| Nose prints | Every dog’s nose print is unique, just like a human fingerprint |
| Sleeping habits | About 45% of dogs in the US sleep in their owner’s bed, and dogs actually dream, puppies and older dogs dream more |
| Taste buds | Dogs have around 1,700 taste buds, while humans have between 2,000 and 10,000 |
| Popularity | There are over 75 million pet dogs in the US, more then any other country in the world |
| Dalmatian spots | Dalmatian puppies are born completely white, the spots come later as they grow |
| Color vision | Dogs are not fully colorblind, they can actually see shades of blue and yellow |
I think the nose print fact is my favorite, honestly. I never knew Bubble’s nose was as unique as his own little fingerprint, that is kind of sweet if you think about it.
FAQ
Q: What are some good funny dog quotations for captions? A: I think “have your people call my people” or the Groucho Marx line work great for almost any dog photo caption, honestly.
Q: Where do most funny dog quotations come from? A: A lot of them come from real dog owners on Reddit and dog tags, but many famous funny dog quotations also come from writers and comedians like Groucho Marx and Dave Barry.
Q: Are dog tag jokes actually useful, or just for fun? A: Both, if you ask me. They make people smile, but a good dog tag with your number on it is also genuinely helpful if your dog gets lost.
Q: Can I use these funny dog quotations for my own dog’s social media? A: Of course, guys! That is exactly what they are for. Pick your favorite and use it as a caption, nobody will mind.
Final Words
So guys, that was my collection of funny dog quotations, some from Reddit, some from famous authors, and some just from clever dog tags. I have also added real dog facts, so this post is not just jokes, it has some proper information too. Honestly, researching this made me want to make Bubble a new dog tag with his own joke on it.
If you enjoyed this, you should also check my post on funny dog puns for more dog humor, or my confession post about bad dog puns inspired by Bubble. And if you ever wondered about that phrase people add after an accidental joke, I also wrote a whole post on what “no pun intended” actually means.
Keep on visiting Funny Puns Only for more funny dog quotations and pun-tastic content, guys! 🐾
Sources
- Reddit r/dogs — What are your favorite dog quotes?
- Reddit r/dogs — Funny dog tags thread
- Reddit r/velvethippos — “you’re a pig in a dog suit” comment
- Reddit r/dogs — Sarcastic/funny things people say to their dog
- Reddit r/funny — Dog tags with funny sayings comment thread
- Reddit r/AskReddit — Funny dog-related lines thread
- Dogtime — 25 Famous Quotes About Dogs
- American Kennel Club — 30 Fun and Fascinating Dog Facts