100+ Fish Puns and Funny Fish Jokes From Reddit

Hello guys, welcome back to my blog. Today I am sharing my favourite fish puns, and I am warning you, some of these fish puns smell worse then old fish. You will groan first and laugh after, and if you ask me, that is the full point of a bad joke.

I went through Reddit for this one, mostly r/dadjokes and r/puns. One person there asks for a pun, then ten people reply only in puns, and nobody can stop them. It is like a small leak in a water pipe. First you get one drop, and after some time the full floor is wet.

After Reddit, I added many more, because nobody there is making jokes about Salmon Khan. In total you get 100+ puns and jokes, all in simple tables. You will find classic funny fish jokes, short one-liners, desi fish names, aquarium puns for your tank photos and some real fish facts. Almost everything is family friendly, and I will warn you about the one bass joke when we reach it.

Fish Puns From Reddit: My Top 11

I started on Reddit, because people there can’t stop once one fish joke comes out. These are my favourites from r/dadjokes and r/puns. If you are in a hurry, this table is enough to annoy your family for one full week.

Pun	Why It Works	Where I Found It
“You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!”	Tuna sounds like “tune a”. Small job, clean finish	r/dadjokes
“What did the fish say when he swam into a wall. Dam!”	A dam is a wall, and it is also what you shout when it hurts	r/puns
“What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH.”	Remove the letter i and the joke is ready	r/puns
“Just for the halibut”	Sounds like “just for the heck of it”. It came up in two threads, so people really love it	r/dadjokes, r/puns
“Let minnow.”	Sounds like “let me know”. Perfect reply for any WhatsApp group	r/dadjokes
“I’m hooked”	Works for fish, web series and your mummy’s pickle	r/dadjokes
“I thought I did, but I seem to be floundering here”	A flounder is a flat fish, and floundering means you are struggling	r/dadjokes
“I’ve haddock up to here with fish puns.”	Haddock sounds like “had it”. Use it when your friend sends one more pun	r/dadjokes
“Sorry, this is no plaice for that sort of humour,”	Plaice is a fish and it sounds like place. Very polite way to say stop	r/dadjokes
“If you keep joking like that, you’ll make a bass out of yourself!”	Say it fast and you will get it. I will not explain this one in front of your mummy	r/dadjokes
This pun is so low on the scale that it makes you sick to the gills (I made this one shorter)	Scale and gills in one line. Two fish parts, very good fitting work	r/dadjokes

If you ask me, the tuna one is the king of this list, and it is also very old. As per Barry Popik, a researcher who tracks old phrases, the joke has been in print since at least 1964. The rock band REO Speedwagon even used it as an album title in 1978. Imagine asking for that album in a shop with a straight face.

Then Reddit gave it a new life. In January 2012 a meme called Bad Joke Eel started on r/AdviceAnimals, with an ugly moray eel saying terrible puns. It got more then 400,000 views in four days. The tuna joke is on the first picture, and the FSH and Dam jokes also appear in that series.

So guys, these jokes are like the old spanner my papa keeps at home. It looks bad and it is older then me, but it still does the job. The one I will really use is “Let minnow”. Next time my family group asks a question, I am sending that and leaving the chat for one hour.

Classic Funny Fish Jokes

These fish jokes are so old that nobody really owns them. They pass from one family to the next, same like your grandmother’s pressure cooker. I changed a few so they fit better in an Indian house.

Question	Answer
Why are fish so smart?	They live in schools
Why do fish never go for cricket practice?	They are scared of the nets
Where do fish keep their money?	In the river bank
Where do fish sleep?	In the river bed
Where do fish wash their hands?	In the river basin
Why did the fish fail the exam?	His marks were below sea level
How do fish go to school?	By octobus
What do you call a fish in a bow tie?	Sofishticated
What do you call a fish doing an operation?	A sturgeon
What do you call a fish with two knees?	A two-knee fish. Say it fast
How do you make a goldfish old?	Take out the G
Why do fish always know their weight?	They carry their own scales
Which fish never shares his tiffin?	The sel-fish
Which fish should you call when your tap is leaking?	The pipefish
Which fish will charge you very high interest?	The loan shark
Why do fishermen love Instagram?	They can’t stop watching reels
Why should a fish never open bank emails?	Phishing
What does a sick fish need?	Vitamin Sea
How do fish call each other?	On their shell phones
Who is the big boss of all fish?	The Codfather
Why don’t sharks eat clowns?	They taste funny
Which fish comes out only at night?	The starfish
What did the sea say to the beach?	Nothing, it just waved
Why did the fish blush?	It saw the ocean’s bottom
What is the fastest fish in the water?	A motor-pike

If you ask me, the river basin one is the best here, because it sounds like a proper answer from a serious person. The tiffin one is for your office friend who hides his food. And the pipefish is a real fish, so now you know who to call.

Real comedians also do this. In 2018 an anglers’ app called Fishbrain asked comedians at the Edinburgh Fringe for their best fish jokes, and Chortle shared the top ones. My favourite was from Samantha Baines: “I am selling my fishing equipment, but I can’t work out the net worth.” Honestly, that is the best joke about money I have read this year.

Short Fish Puns for Everyday Use

These are simple swaps. You take one normal word, change it to a fish word, and the job is done. It is like changing one washer in a tap. Small work, but the whole thing feels different after.

Normal Line	Fish Version	Use It When
Oh my God	Oh my cod	You see the electricity bill
Seriously?	Sea-riously?	Your friend says he will return your money on Friday
Officially	O-fish-ally	You announce anything in the family group
Best wishes	Best fishes	Birthday, exam or new job
Soulmate	Sole mate	A wedding card, only if the couple is fun
Perfect	Perch-fect	Your mummy’s dal
Finally	Fin-ally	Water comes back after two days
Guilty	Gill-ty	You ate the last gulab jamun
Just kidding	Just squidding	Your joke went wrong and everybody is angry
Stay tuned	Stay tuna’d	End of your YouTube video
Out of office	Trout of office	Your email auto reply, if your boss is cool
Out of this world	Trout of this world	Best pani puri of your life
I’ll be back	Eel be back	You say five minutes and come after two hours
I am hearing you	I am herring you	Your mummy is talking and the match is on
Someone	Salmon	Salmon ate my tiffin
Mull it over	Mullet over	A salesman is pushing you to buy something
Could you	Cod you	Cod you please close the tap?
Living the dream	Living the bream	You got three days of leave
Carpe diem	Carp diem	Monday morning, when you need some power
Selfish	Shellfish	Your brother is not giving the remote
Basically	Bass-ically	You are starting one very long story
For sure	Fish sure	Somebody asks if you are coming to the party
Holy moly	Holy mackerel	Any big shock. This one is a real old saying
Lucky shot	Total fluke	Your team wins by one run. A fluke is also a flat fish

If you ask me, Fin-ally is the most useful one here. Every Indian house has waited for the water to come back, and nobody says anything polite at that time.

The Three Fish Nobody Was Making Puns About

Chortle also shared a funny number in 2018. Fish puns were the third most popular #puns topic on Twitter, behind only food and cats. About 50 sea creatures were used, with cod, eel and plaice on top. But there were no puns at all on anchovies, blowfish and flying fish.

When nobody wants to do one job, my papa says that is the job you should take. So guys, here are my three tries.

Fish	My Pun
Anchovy	You are coming for dinner, anchovy? Say it fast, it sounds like “aren’t you”
Blowfish	Why did the blowfish lose his job? He blew up in front of the manager
Flying fish	My flight was so late that the flying fish reached first

Honestly, the anchovy one is very bad. But now you know why nobody did it.

Desi Fish Puns (My Own List)

The Reddit picks above had no desi jokes, so I made this list myself. Every Indian kid learns that old school rhyme where the fish is the queen of water. Today the queen is getting the full Bollywood treatment.

Real life already started this joke. The Bombay duck is not a duck at all. It is a lizardfish, caught in the waters off Maharashtra and Gujarat. So if a fish can be a duck, I can do anything I want in this section.

Bollywood Movies, Fish Version

Movie or Show	Fish Version	Best For
Koi… Mil Gaya	Koi Mil Gaya	The day you buy your first koi. No change needed
Hum Aapke Hain Koun	Hum Aapke Hain Koi	A love letter to your pond
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai	Koi Koi Hota Hai	One special fish. In Hindi this really means only a few are like that
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge	Gillwale Dulhania Le Jayenge	Romantic fish with long fins
Dil To Pagal Hai	Gill To Pagal Hai	Fish who goes up and down the glass all day
Sholay	Shoal-ay	Two best friends in a big group. A shoal is a group of fish
Lagaan	Lagoon	Team of small fish who beat the big fish
Hera Pheri	Herring Pheri	Three fish with one bad plan
Munna Bhai MBBS	Minnow Bhai MBBS	Small fish, big heart
Gully Boy	Guppy Boy	Tiny fish with a big attitude
Chennai Express	Chennai Ex-Prawn	The prawn you broke up with
Jawan	Jaws-an	Angry shark on a mission
Andaz Apna Apna	Tank Apna Apna	Two fish who will not share one corner
Kaun Banega Crorepati	Kaun Banega Carp-pati	Rich carp with one lifeline left

I think Koi Mil Gaya is the best fish pun in this whole blog, and I did nothing for it. Bollywood gave us this title in 2003, and it was sitting there waiting for one fish lover to notice.

Funny Fish Names, Desi Style

If you keep fish at home, these names are ready to use. Just match the name with the habit of your fish.

Name	Based On	Best For
Salmon Khan	Salman Khan	Strong fish who rules the tank
Shark Rukh Khan	Shah Rukh Khan	Fish who keeps both fins wide open
Amitabh Bass-chan	Amitabh Bachchan	Tall, respected old bass
Ranbir Carp-oor	Ranbir Kapoor	Good looking carp
Hrithik Roe-shan	Hrithik Roshan	Best dancer in the tank. Roe means fish eggs
Piranha Chopra	Priyanka Chopra	Pretty fish with sharp teeth
Ray-nikanth	Rajinikanth	Boss ray. The water moves for him
Virat Koi-hli	Virat Kohli	Koi with full energy
Sachin Tunedulkar	Sachin Tendulkar	Fish who stays in the tank for many years
Rohu-t Sharma	Rohit Sharma	Big Indian carp. Rohu is a real fish
Mahi Mahi	MS Dhoni’s nickname, two times	Very calm fish
Chhota Bream	Chhota Bheem	Small fish, very strong

Mahi Mahi is my top pick here. Mahi-mahi is a real fish, and the name means very strong in Hawaiian. So you can shout it two times like a cricket stadium, and science is also happy.

Aquarium Puns for Your Tank and Instagram

If you ask me, an aquarium is just plumbing you can see through. Water goes in, water comes out, one small motor works day and night, and one bad joint can wet your whole floor. As per Wikipedia, water weighs 1 kg per litre, so a 1,000 litre tank weighs 1,000 kg. That is like parking a small car in your hall, so a good aquarium pun needs some respect.

An aquarium site called TankZen says “Tank you” is the most upvoted fish pun on r/Aquariums. I could not check that number myself, but honestly I am not surprised. The first three below are old ones that I found, and the rest are a mix of common puns and my own.

Aquarium Pun	Best For
Tank you	Thanking anybody who helped with your setup
Two fish are in a tank. One says, “Who is driving this thing?”	The most famous tank joke. It works every time
Damsel in distress	A cheap blue damselfish going mad in your tank. I found this one on the Nano-Reef forum
Water you looking at?	Your fish is staring at you through the glass
This tank is my happy plaice	Photo of your home tank
Long time no sea	Visiting a big aquarium after many years
Seas the day	Morning visit to any aquarium
Yes, this photo has a filter. The tank has one also	Instagram
That is not a leak, it is a water feature	Your tank is dripping. Please fix it, guys
My tank failed maths. Too much algae-bra	Green glass
Betta late than never	You finally did the water change
Life is betta with bubbles	Betta fish photo
Net worth: three guppies and one snail	Instagram bio
Snailed it	The tank finally looks perfect
Un-fish-ed business	You cleaned only half the tank
Time to reef-lax	Reef tank video at night
Filter out the negativity	Monday status
The only tank in my house that is never empty	Every Indian house with a water problem
Treat the tap water, don’t tap the glass	A small sign for your tank
Everything is going swimmingly	Your water test is all good
Shrimply the best	Shrimp tank
Gill-ty pleasure: watching fish for two hours	Late night story
My filter works harder than me	Any working day

The leak one is my favourite, but please don’t use it as an excuse. My papa says a small drip today is a wet wall tomorrow. The tap water line is also real advice, because Wikipedia says tap water in many areas has chemicals that harm fish, so it must be treated first.

Bubbles are a personal topic for me. My Chihuahua is named Bubble, so if he ever sees a big aquarium, I am sure he will think the whole tank is talking about him. If you want more of his drama, read my 199+ Chihuahua jokes.

Funny Fish Facts While You Recover

Okay guys, small break from the puns. While doing research I found some real facts, and a few of them are more funny then the jokes.

Fact	What I Found	Source
FSH is a real fish	The blind cave form of the Mexican tetra has only skin where its eyes should be, and aquarium people keep it at home	Wikipedia
Goldfish don’t forget so fast	The 3 second memory is a myth. Fish expert Culum Brown says weeks, months or even years	Earth.com
Fish can’t escape my puns	Fish have no eyelids, so they can’t close their eyes, even when they sleep	TankZen
Who named the aquarium	English naturalist Philip Henry Gosse coined the word. Aqua means water in Latin	Wikipedia
First public aquarium	Gosse set it up at London Zoo in 1853, and people called it the Fish House	Wikipedia
Some tanks are huge	One tank at Georgia Aquarium in the USA holds 24 million litres	Wikipedia
Tanks need regular work	Normal weekly care means changing around 10 to 30% of the water	Wikipedia
Fish watching may be good for you	Watching an aquarium is linked with less stress and a better mood	Wikipedia

The Georgia one is my favourite. A normal Indian roof tank is 1,000 litres, so that one tank is same as 24,000 of ours. Imagine the person who has to clean it. And I am sure one mummy is still shouting to close the tap.

How to Tell a Fish Joke Properly

My papa says do the job properly one time, then you don’t have to do it two times. Same rule works for jokes.

Test one pun first. It is like a new pipe joint. Open the water slowly, see if it holds, then go full.
Keep a straight face. If you laugh before the punchline, the whole joke leaks out.
Never explain it. Yes, I know I explained everything in my tables, but that is my job.
Know your room. Keep the bass joke away from your mummy and your manager.
Save them in your phone notes. A pun is like a spanner. You need it ready when the problem comes.

Which Pun for Which Place

Place	Try This
Family WhatsApp group	Let minnow
Birthday card	Best fishes
Aquarium photo	Koi Mil Gaya
Office email	Trout of office
Kids at home	Why are fish so smart? They live in schools
Wedding card	Sole mate
Friend who won’t stop	I’ve haddock up to here

FAQ

Q: What are the best fish puns?

A: My top picks are the tuna fish joke, Let minnow, Just for the halibut and Oh my cod. If you want a desi one, nothing can beat Koi Mil Gaya.

Q: What are some funny fish jokes for kids?

A: Try “Why are fish so smart? They live in schools” or “How do you make a goldfish old? Take out the G.” Short question and answer jokes work best with kids.

Q: What is a good aquarium pun for Instagram?

A: “Tank you” is the safe pick. If you want something better, use “Yes, this photo has a filter. The tank has one also.”

Q: What does “just for the halibut” mean?

A: It is a pun on “just for the heck of it”, which means doing something only for fun. Halibut is a big flat fish, so the joke fits very well.

Q: How old are fish jokes?

A: Some are very old. As per Barry Popik, the tuna fish joke has been in print since at least 1964. So you are not telling a new joke, you are keeping one alive.

Q: Why are there so many fish jokes?

A: I think it is because so many fish names sound like normal words. Cod, sole, plaice, eel and fin all fit into a normal sentence, so the joke is ready with very small work.

Final Words

So guys, these were my 100+ fish puns and funny fish jokes, from real Reddit picks to my own desi list. I have covered one-liners, classic fish jokes, word swaps, Bollywood puns, aquarium puns, some real facts and a few simple tips.

If you ask me, a fish pun is like that leaking pipe from the start of this blog. One drop is nothing, but soon the full floor is wet and everybody is angry with you. If you want more water jokes, my dog boat puns have my Chihuahua Bubble scaring all the fish away. And if you are a cat person, my 150+ best cat puns are a good next read, because your cat is already looking at your fish.

Let me know in the comments which fish pun made you groan the most. Keep on visiting Funny Puns Only for more!

100+ Fish Puns and Funny Fish Jokes That Will Make You Laugh