60+ Funny Poop Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Hello guys, welcome back to my blog. Today I am going to tell you about funny poop jokes, and yes, I know it sounds silly, but stick with me. I still remember that talk with Cardi B. She made the whole song out of poop, up and stuck.

watch this!!

I went digging through Reddit and a few other joke sites for this one, and honestly I did not expect to find this many good poop jokes. If you are looking for a big list of poop jokes to share in your group chat, or just to read alone and laugh like an idiot, you are in the right place.

I know some people think poop jokes are gross or childish, but if you ask me, that is exactly why they work. Everyone poops, so everyone gets the joke instantly. No explaining needed.

Classic Poop Jokes I Found on Reddit

I started my research on Reddit, on a thread in r/Jokes where people were sharing their favorite poop jokes. A lot of them are old classics, but they still made me laugh.

The most popular one in that thread was about a movie. Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It never came out. I think this one is genius because it is so simple, one word does all the work. (Source)

There is also a sequel to that joke, and honestly I like it even more. Did you hear about the movie Diarrhea? It leaked, so they had to release it early. I laughed out loud at this one, it is such a clean little callback. (Source)

Same thread also had a short riddle that a lot of people quoted in the comments. What’s brown and sticky? A stick. This one is more of a trick question then a real poop joke, but I think it deserves a spot on this list because it always gets people for a second. (Source)

What Reddit Actually Thinks About Poop Jokes

While I was researching, I also found out that Redditors don’t all agree on poop jokes, which I found kind of funny itself.

Some people on r/MadeMeSmile said things like “poop and fart jokes are a universal language that brings joy to children worldwide,” and honestly I agree with this a lot. (Source)

But then in r/unpopularopinion, one person wrote that “humor about poop is almost never funny and unoriginal.” (Source) I don’t fully agree with this, but I understand the point, if you overuse poop jokes they do get boring. That is why I tried to only keep the good ones in this list.

I also found a funny story in r/Standup, where someone talked about a comedian’s bit on desperately needing to poop and almost making it home, only to get “betrayed by his body at the front door.” (Source) I think every single person can relate to this story, that is honestly what makes it so funny, not the joke itself but how true it is.

And on r/Preschoolers, parents talked about how little kids find words like “booty butt” and “poopoo” hilarious on their own, no punchline needed. This makes total sense to me, I remember laughing at these same words as a kid, and honestly I still laugh a little now.

My Favorite Poop One-Liners

Okay, now for the main course. I made a table of some of my favorite short poop jokes and one-liners, so you can just scroll and pick your favorite one.

Joke	Punchline
What do you get when you poop in your overalls?	Dung-arees!
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?	It’s in your jeans!
Poop jokes aren’t my favourite jokes…	…but they’re a solid No.2.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?	A salad shooter!
I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday…	…then I had the biggest vowel movement ever!
What do you call a magical poop?	Poodini!
Where do cavemen poop?	In a neander-stall!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?	He worked it out with a pencil.
Did you hear about the constipated composer?	He had problems with his last movement!
Everyone criticises the Star Wars prequel trilogy, but which one is worst?	The turd one!
Where do astronauts poop in space?	Uranus!
What’s brown and firm?	The Brown Family Law Firm.
If bears poop in the woods, is the smell…	…unbearable?
Did you know that people who study poop are called scatologists?	I think they should be called “turd nerds.”
What do politicians and diapers have in common?	They should both be changed regularly, because they’re full of crap.
How do you get rid of a poop smell from the house?	Use poo-pourri!
How do you get the bathroom unlocked in a hurry?	With a doo-key!
A lot of people go to the bathroom like clockwork…	I always go at poo-thirty.
It’s funny how corn keeps its shape after you poop it out…	…yet it tastes completely different.
What do cows call poop?	Moo-nure!
Why did they install a toilet in the garbage heap?	Everyone had to take a dump!
What do you call it when King Charles farts?	A noble gas!
What did you get when you mix castor oil with holy water?	A religious movement!
Why is the toilet a good place for a nap?	It’s in the rest-room!
What did one fly say to the other, sitting on the toilet?	“Is this stool taken?”
Why did the baker have smelly hands?	He kneaded a poo!
Why did the poop cross the street?	Because it was trying to get in the toilet!
What’s the difference between good and bad toilet paper?	One is terrible, and one is tearable!
I like toilets for two reasons…	Number one and number two!
I need to buy a new toilet bowl…	The one I have is full!

If you ask me, “Uranus” is still the best one on this whole table, it is such an old joke but it never stops working.

Funny Toilet and Bathroom Poop Jokes

A lot of good poop jokes are actually toilet jokes, so I made a separate table for these too. I found most of these from family joke sites like DaddiLife and Scary Mommy, so full credit to them.

Joke	Punchline
What’s big and brown and behind the wall?	Humpty’s Dump!
What do you call a bathroom superhero?	Flush Gordon!
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?	To look for Pooh!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?	To get to the bottom!
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other at the end of the day?	“Man, I am wiped.”
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?	It got stuck in the crack!
What do you call a fairy in the toilet?	Stinkerbell!
Why do cops sit on the toilet all day?	It’s their duty!
Why couldn’t the police officers find the toilet thief?	They had nothing to go on!
What did one toilet say to the other?	“You’re looking flushed!”
What does Superman call his bathroom?	A super-bowl!
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?	Because he scares the crap out of it!
What did Spock find in the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?	The Captain’s Log.
Where do bees go to the bathroom?	The BP station!
Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?	Because the “p” is silent!
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog toilets?	Dereliction of doodie!
What did one toilet paper roll say to the next?	“You’re on a roll!”
I heard a golden toilet got stolen from a museum.	The owner said he’ll be relieved when it’s found.
I bought a toilet brush yesterday…	…turns out toilet paper is definitely better.
You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone…	…toilet paper is a great example!

Honestly the Tigger one is my favourite here, because it also works as a Winnie the Pooh joke, so it is like two jokes in one.

Poop Riddles and Silly Butt Jokes

I also collected some short riddles and butt-related jokes, these are the ones that make even little kids laugh, and honestly they still make me laugh too.

Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks. This one is so dumb but I could not stop smiling while writing it down.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung! This is basically the cousin of the “brown and sticky” riddle from earlier, and I think riddles like these work great because your brain expects something gross and then gets a wordplay instead.

Here are a few more quick ones I liked:

Where should you keep a fake poo? In the bottom drawer!
Why did the bum get smacked? It was being cheeky!
What’s the best snack for a movie that stinks? Poopcorn!
What is a piece of poop’s favourite dance move? Poopin’ and locking!
Did you know poop is basically a crap palindrome? (Say “poop” backwards, you get “poop.”)
Why did the bum break up with the heart? It was tired of being dumped on!
Why do toilets and bums feel sad? They’re both tired of being sat on all day!
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Ew, what’s that smell from the corridor?!”
Why didn’t the bum want to play hide and seek? It didn’t want to be the butt of the joke!
Why do superheroes wear their underwear on the outside? To protect their bum!

Fun Facts About Poop (Because Why Not)

Small break from jokes, guys. While researching I also found some real facts about poop that I did not know before, so obviously I made a table for that too.

Fact	Detail
How often	On average, people poop about 1.2 times every 24 hours
Daily amount	Around 128 grams of poop per person, per day, on average
What it’s made of	About 75% water, with the rest being bacteria, fibre, fat, and dead cells
Why it’s brown	A substance called stercobilin, which comes from old red blood cells
Why it smells	Chemicals like hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and skatole are the main reason

I think the “75% water” fact is the one that surprised me the most, I always thought poop was mostly solid stuff. (Source: Medical News Today)

Final Words

So guys, that was my big list of poop jokes, over 60 of them if you count the tables and the riddles. I have tried to cover classic Reddit jokes, toilet jokes, silly riddles, and even a few real poop facts to go with them.

If you liked this kind of light, silly content, you should also check my post on No Pun Intended if you want to learn a fun phrase people use all the time, or my Funny Topics to Debate post for your next boring car ride with friends. I also have a big list of Best Cat Puns if you want more silly wordplay after all this poop talk.

Next time someone needs a quick laugh, just pick one poop joke from this list, I promise it will land. Keep on visiting Funny Puns Only for more!

Sources

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